Super Carnage Time!
by crazyartistcreeper
Summary: All skulls are on, we're invincible, and we never run out of ammo. Firefight has never been this much fun! It's Super Carnage Time!


"DEATH FROM ABOVE!"

The brown and rust colored Spartan cut the power to his jetpack and landed on an unfortunate Grunt, stabbing the energy sword he held down into its chest. The two other grey skinned aliens squeaked in terror and ran flailing from the flying monster. The Spartan sliced deep into the nearest one and pulled out a SPNKr Rocket Launcher. The last Grunt of the round was blown to kingdom come before you could say "overkill."

"Gotta love the bonus round," he sighed, bouncing the launcher on one shoulder. His accent seemed caught somewhere between Russian and Middle Eastern. The other Spartan, a female in dark grey and crimson MJOLNIR armor, jetpacked across the courtyard towards him. She was totting a Chieftain's Gravity Hammer and also had a rocket launcher across her back. Her call sign read A116.

"I got two killionaires that time, at least!" she said excitedly, landing next to her teammate. A116's accent was similar, leaning more towards the Russian side.

"It's your insane splash damage with that thing," the male Spartan, call sign R153, poked at her. He waved the plasma blade in front of her faceplate. "Try even getting killimanjaro with this!"

"Hey, that's what explosives are for, right?"

"But that's not as fun as - hey, sweet, the weapons are here!"

R153 had a fairly short attention span.

"Guns, guns, glorious guns!" he sang as he flew towards the nearest ordinance. A116 faceplate-palmed at him and jetted to check the other gun out. R153 landed smoothly next to the weapon pod and looked inside. "D'awww... Spartan Laser. Not in the mood for lasoring today."

"Got a sniper rifle over here if you want it" he heard over the com.

"Nah, I'm good with what I got." Under normal circumstances, R153 would have killed two Zealots with his bare hands if they stood between him and a sniper rifle. And on the rare occasions he did acquire his favorite gun, headshots would abound. But today wasn't exactly normal. Today was Firefight. A custom game called Super Carnage Time! to be exact. Where every skull was turned on, including some custom ones that made the Spartans impervious to damage and made their weapons never run out of ammo. Basically a time to kill as much shit as possible and go axe crazy.

The male Spartan hoofed it to the middle of the courtyard under the catwalk to wait for the next wave of Covvies. Soon, the hum of a Phantom signaled the arrival of more troops to slaughter.

A116 walked up and held out her fist. "Super Carnage Time?" she asked.

R153 returned the brofist. "Super Carnage Time."

The Phantom dropped a load of troops after halfheartedly firing a few shots and flew off as another Phantom flew down on the other side of the courtyard. "I got these guys over here" the brown Spartan said, poking his thumb at the Skirmishers and Grunts taking potshots at them. He brandished his energy blade and charged the nearest Grunt. A116 adjusted her grip on her hammer and jetted off to the other side to see what the other Phantom had shat out.

R153 was chasing down an unfortunate skirmisher and practicing his evil laugh when A116's angry cry of "FUCKING JACKALS!" blared through his com. He paused to watch the bird like aliens' spindly corpses flying high into the air. It never got old to see them flail and hit the roof of the adjacent building. More troops were dropping near his hammer crazy friend, so he mopped up the last few aliens on his side with the SPNKr and jetpacked to the other side for more fun.

Jackals cowered under their shields and Grunts flailed their arms as the grey hellion mercilessly smashed multiple infantry with each mighty blow. Whenever a new Phantom appeared she would jump up towards the cannon and smash it clean off before resuming her decimation of the Covenant ranks. She kept on berserking until...

WHAM! "Ow! Not a Brute over here!"

"Oops. Thought you were an Elite, actually." A116 shrugged nonchalantly. "Did you see that first group I fought? Nothing but Jackals! Not one Grunt or Skirmisher!"

"Yeah, I heard ya." R153 scanned the sky for more dropships. The male Spartan ran circles in anticipation and flailed his plasma sword at the sky. "Bring me a Chieftain! That was too easy, buddy! Give me a challenge!" A116 quietly chuckled at her teammate and switched to the SPNKr.

Sure enough, the next round of Phantoms started dropping down Brutes with the Grunts and Jackals. The grey Spartan fired off a few rockets without any regard for the charging, sword crazy R153. A few of the hairy aliens were taken out with the barrage of rockets. With the death of their Jiralhanee leaders, Grunts squeaked and ran around flapping their arms wildly. A116 punched one of the fleeing Grunts in the face hard enough to snap its neck and switched back to the hammer. Rockets just didn't have the same personal touch as smashing a Brute's face in with one of their own hammers.

R153 grinned under his helmet as he slashed down one Brute and rushed at another. Big and ugly grunted out some guttural alien garble and threw something glowing and blue at the charging Spartan. He didn't bother it, just let it adhere to his chest and grinned all the broader. "C'mere and give me and give me a hug!" he laughed. The grenade detonated when the Spartan was nearly on top of the Brute, killing the hairy beast and leaving R153 unscathed. He merely brushed some dust off one pauldron and walked off to go kill some more Covvie bastards.

After another minute of explosions and slaughter, only one poor Unngoy remained. A red arrow above its head painted it as an obvious target to A116. The grey demon chased the unfortunate creature around a crate and brought her hammer straight down between its flailing arms. The squat alien was reduced to little more than a luminescent blue mess on the concrete ground.

"Ah... there's no kill like overkill." she sighed, bouncing her favorite weapon on her palm.

"You scare me with that thing." R153 slowly inched sidelong away from A116.

"Mwa ha ha ha..." she laughed evilly and jetpacked a few feet in the air for effect. "Hmmm..." A116 thoughtfully stroked the chin of her helmet. She glanced deviously at her companion, who was poking a smashed Brute corpse with his boot.

"Grenade out!" She hurled a plasma grenade at R153's head, which fused to the back of his helmet.

"Huh-" BOOM!

"What the hell was that for?" he yelled.

"No real reason." A116 primed another plasma and chucked it. This one stuck to the bottom of his chest plate.

"Get away from me!" BOOM! "Grah! Fine!" R153 tossed one of his own stickies, hitting A116 in the faceplate.

She let out a surprised yell as the blue brilliance filled her field of vision. BOOM! "Come here, you..." She raised her hammer. "It's hammer time..."

R153 let out a small "meep," and ran like hell, A116 hot on his heels.

"Hey, no fair! You started it!"

"You stuck me in the face!"

"Lucky throw! Not my fault!" He jumped up and activated his jetpack in an attempt to escape. The grey Spartan merely jetted after him, swinging that hammer around her head like a helicopter blade. R153's jetpack soon ran out of juice and unceremoniously dumped him to the ground. He rolled twice and stopped next to the tire of a forklift.

"I call truce!" The brown Spartan panted. "You stuck me first, I stuck you in the face. I'd say we're even."

A116 extended her hand to R153. "Truce." He took the hand and she helped him to his feet. It was better that they didn't try (and fail) to kill each other.

As he leaned with one elbow on the forklift, something clicked inside the male Spartan's brain.

"Oh my god! You can drive the forklifts!" R153 quickly hopped in out of sheer novelty.

"Did you forget about that?"

"Well... sorta."

"You forgot."

"Yeah."

He drove around a crate and stopped next to his partner. "Get in, it's safe. No, seriously."

"Safe driver my ass."

"I'm safer than you."

"That's true. But you never drove a Scorpion back up a cliff."

"Yeah... you do have a point there."

"Hey, how many points do we have now?"

R153 checked the counter in the lower right corner of hid HUD. "Oh, you've got to be shitting me. 999,985. Seriously?"

A116 sighed. "Oh wow... we've been at this for a while."

A few seconds later more Phantoms morphed out of the horizon and began unloading the next batch of soldiers. A116 nonchalantly fired one rocket from her SPNKr at a group of Unggoy with one hand.

Bleep-Bloop.

1,000,000 points.

The two Spartans exchanged an epic brofist.

Author's Notes

This was just for the lulz pretty much. R153 is me... and A116 is my sister. And this is really pretty much how we play firefight. Yep. No, seriously. It's ummm... interesting. And yes, I play a male Spartan when I'm a girl. Well, either way, to make the whole thing sillier than it really needs to be, read the lines with our firefight voices. I use Jun's voice, and my sister uses Kat's voice. And Jun says some interesting things, some of which I actually put in here. It's like I Spy with quotes!

And the thing with driving the Scorpion back up the cliff... that was real. No shit. It was the single most epic thing I have ever seen in a video game.


End file.
